Igitekerezo: Byagenze gute ko dushyingira umugeni bugacya tukajya guhemba ngo babyaye?

Ubukwe ni umwe mu mihango ikomeye yabayeho kuva na kera na kare, bugakorwa bigendanye n’umuco w’abantu cyangwa igihugu runaka, mu Rwanda rwo hambere gushyingira umukobwa wari umuhango wamaraga igihe kitari gito ndetse ukagira imihango inyuranye.

Bamwe bahuriza ku mvugo igira iti “Kiliziya yakuye kirazira”, umunyarwanda ati “Agahugu katagira umuco karacika”, iby’ubu byabaye amayobera, abakuru bo bakabyita amahano, ab’ubu bati “ibyo ni ibyanyu mwe murashaje, muduhe rugari twe bato”.

Reka nifashishe urugero rwa hafi, ku wa 4 Ugushyingo 2022, mu binyamakuru wumva ngo “Nyuma y’ukwezi akoze ubukwe aritegura kwibaruka imfura”, reka ngarukirize aha ntaza kurengera.

Iyo naka na nyirakanaka barushinze, ibyishimo biba ari byose ku mpande zombi, ababutashye tuba twishimiye guhura agaheha kanyarira iryinyo, umusore aba yishimira kwegukana uwo yihebeye, ntawamenya umukobwa wasanga aba anagira ati “Singiheze ku ishyiga nka naka”, ababyeyi bo baba bafite ibyishimo kurushaho kuko umukobwa wabo aba atarasamaye ngo abazanire umwuzukuru batazi se, yewe baba bamwenyura kuko baba bakiriye inkwano, dore ko iy’ubu iba ibarirwa mu zitukura, ndavuga inoti za bitanu.

Iwabo w’umusore bo baba bafite akamwenyu kuko umusore wabo aba abahesheje ishema, baba beretse abaturanyi ko babyaye neza, kandi baravuga ngo “Ukwibyara gutera ababyeyi ineza”, ubwo erega se w’umusore aba yambitswe ingofero, yahawe inkoni, mu bandi bagabo agira ijambo kuko aba abonye umukazana.

Uwavuga akanyamuneza ku munsi w’ubukwe umunsi wakwira, reka ahubwo tugaruke kuri wa mutwe w’inkuru, wa mukobwa witegura kwibaruka imfura nyuma y’ukwezi ashyingiwe, umbaze nkubaze ariko unambwire uko byagenze, ndetse n’umuti twavuguta cyangwa ndi kureba ibitandeba cyangwa nasoromye ibinsumba nihanganire ibintokoza.

Byagenze gute mu Rwanda ko hari abashyingirwa, batwite inda z’imvutsi?

Ubusanze umwana avuka nyuma y’uko umugabo n’umugore bakoze imibonano mpuzabitsina, intanga ngabo igahura n’intanga ngore, maze ikajya muri nyababyeyi, umwana agakurira aho, amezi icyenda yagera ibise nyina bikamufata, bakamwihutana kwa muganga maze akaba yibarutse hungu cyangwa kobwa, impundu zikavuga urwunge, igikoma kigaharirwa umubyeyi.

Ibihe biha ibindi, ibyo turabyemeranya, umwana asigaye avuka nyina atahuye na se, ahubwo ibyuma by’abazungu byahurijwemo intanga ngabo n’intanga ngore, nabwo umwana aravuka kandi akavukira amezi icyenda nk’abandi.

Ubukwe bwamaraga iminsi, ubu tubukora umunsi umwe, saa tatu turasaba tukanakwa, saa tanu tukajya kwa Padiri cyangwa Pasitoro, tuvayo tubahekera umugeni, tugashyingira, dutaha dutwikuruye umugeni, ndetse byanarimba tukamutekesha.

Niba ibintu byarahindutse se, amezi umwana avukira yaba yaragabanutse cyangwa hari ukundi byagenze? Uko mbyibaza nawe wibaze, maze unshakire ibisobanuro by’ukuntu abashyingiwe bibaruka mu mezi ane gusa bamaze babana, ingero ni nyinshi nawe urebe aho utuye.

Kurya ivande cyangwa kwaka avance, ibi aho ntibyaba bifite aho bihuriye n’ibyo twibaza?

Kurya ivande cyangwa avance ni igihe umusore n’umukobwa bitegura kubana bakora imibonano mpuzabitsinda, baryamana nk’umugabo n’umugore mbere yo gushyingirwa imbere y’amategeko cyangwa mu rusengero.

Uzi ko hari inshuti yanjye iherutse kumbwira ngo “Nta sex (Imibonanompuzabitsina) nta bukwe”, yanyumvishije ko nta mpamvu yo kubana n’umukobwa utazi, kuko ngo yanze ko babonana yajya ahandi!

Ntagitangaza iyi mvugo urayizi cyangwa warayumvise, urubyiruko rw’ubu cyane cyane abakobwa ntatinya ku kubwira ati “Ndi isugi se iwacu bararoga!”

Kera iyo umukobwa bamushyingiraga irunaka, nyuma yo kumara amavuta no gukirana iyo basangaga atari isugi baramusendaga, gusa ubu kuba isugi si umushinga, ahubwo kubayo ubanza aribyo byabaye ikizira.

Muri iki gihe, abasore n’inkumi bakundana kuryamana ntibigitinda, kuko ukwezi kumwe bemeranyije urukundo, guhuza ibitsina ni cyo gikurikira, ibintu bituma tubona inda zitateguwe maze inzozi zo kubana zigapfuba zityo kuri benshi, abandi umuruho ukabokama.

Benshi ubu basigaye bashyingirwa batwite imvutsi, ubukwe bugategurwa icyumweru kuko umukobwa aba atwite kandi uko batinda, umwana mu nda aba akura. Aha niho uzasanga abantu babanye, mu mezi angahe bati twibarutse umuhungu cyangwa umukobwa.

Ingo z’ubu zirasenyuka uko bwije n’uko bukeye, gatanya zabaye agatereranzamba mu nkiko, ibyo byose ni wa musaruro wo gushyuhaguzwa, tukarya inkono itarashya, agapfundikiye kagapfundurwa imburagihe, kandi nyamara inkono ihira igihe!

Inkono ihira igihe kandi igihe n’icyacyo

 Ntawishwe no gutegereza, kandi imbeba yakurikiye akaryoshye irakazira, musore na we nkumi, kuryama mutarabana uwo si umuco w’i Rwanda, agapfundikiye gatera amatsiko, uwo musore wiyamburira ukamwiha wese mutarabana, uramenye ushishoze kuko ejo yakwijuta akijujuta, maze akagusiga dore ko ntacyo uba ufite atazi, ese uba wumva yagushaka agukurikiyeho iki kandi byose abizi.

Musore nawe uramenye, uwo mukobwa utazi, utaramenya na nyirasenge, utazi uwamutoje gufata umutozo no kubuganiza amata, banza witonde ejo utazavaho uvuga ngo arananiye kandi ari wowe wakurikiye ibiguruka kandi utagira amababa.

Kubyara ni umugisha w’Imana, umwana akaba impano y’abashakanye dore ko hari benshi babuze urubyaro, gusa inkono ihira igihe musigeho gusangira ibidasengeye, ibyo ufitiye amashyushyu ni ibyawe ntaho byagucikira.

NKURUNZIZA Jean Baptiste